


Agriculture

by SoDoRoses (FairyChess)



Series: LAOFT Extras [86]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Fluff, Gen, M/M, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Virgil is just... too cute yall, its the fluff police the boys too SWEET
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-29
Updated: 2019-11-29
Packaged: 2021-02-26 05:00:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,006
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21607954
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FairyChess/pseuds/SoDoRoses
Summary: Virgil Vs 21st Century Fruit
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Original Female Character(s), Anxiety | Virgil/Creativity | Roman/Logic | Logan/Morality | Patton
Series: LAOFT Extras [86]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1365505
Comments: 35
Kudos: 587





	Agriculture

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Mistake on the Part of Nature](https://archiveofourown.org/works/1488142) by [idiopathicsmile](https://archiveofourown.org/users/idiopathicsmile/pseuds/idiopathicsmile). 



> my mother loves the MCU fanfiction Mistake On the Part of Nature by idiopathicsmile, and requested I write laoft version and like. Its my mom. I’m legally obligated to comply
> 
> So here’s a quick little blurb, and if you like this feel free to send a message to my momma through me, because she will be delighted.
> 
> thanks to @trivia-goddess for beta-reading (and also having a truly delightful reaction to the POV of this installment, made my whole afternoon)

Virgil was fucking weird.

May sometimes played a little game with herself (tentatively called “Nap or Nature”) where she tried to figure if a given quirk was because he’d been asleep for a hundred years and missed most of the 1900’s, or if he’d just popped right out of his spooky momma like that centuries ago.

The list included, but was not limited to; a deep distrust of horses and deer (popped out like that, she was pretty sure), a fascination with fancy lace (came like that, again), and a fondness for anything rubber, especially shit that _bounced_.

That one was nap-related, probably, and exhausting; the number of times she’d gone looking for a damn tommyknocker (or heaven fucking forbid, another _ghost_ ) before she’d realized it was just _Virgil_ amusing himself by playing wall-ball on the outside of the house was entirely too high in her opinion.

Today’s round of Nap or Nature was, apparently, tropical fruit.

May blinked down at the half-peeled banana on the linoleum, which Virgil had just slapped out of her hand. She turned up to Virgil – who was scowling at the banana like it had personally offended him – and gave him as look flat as cardboard.

“Well hello t’you, too, Verge,” she said patiently, “There a reason my breakfast’s on the floor or what?”

The other three were already sitting at the kitchen table – five was a squeeze in this kitchen by a _lot_ , but May didn’t get to see Pat and Virgil near as often as she liked, so if that meant bribing them with food every time they came out of the woods, she had plenty anyway – and Patton leaned around to frown in confusion at the offending fruit.

Virgil cleared his throat awkwardly.

“Sorry,” he said, “I, uh, panicked,”

“Panicked,”

He nodded.

“Are ya gonna share with the class what about this banana made ya _panic?_ ” she said wearily.

“They’ve gone bad,” he said seriously, gesturing to the banana he held in his own hand, one bite missing, “And you’re very old, so I thought it might kill you,”

Roman snorted.

“Can it,” said May fondly.

“I said nothing,” said Roman, looking like butter wouldn’t melt in his mouth, which May didn’t buy _at fucking all_.

May rolled her eyes, turning to pick up the banana to find Virgil already on the other side of her and holding it out.

“Jesus, Mary and _Joseph!_ ”

“Sorry,” said Virgil, again. May sighed.

“I’m too old for ya t’ be teleportin’ that close to me, Verge, yer makin’ my head spin,”

“I didn’t teleport,” he said, “I’ll try to move slower,”

May rolled her eyes, taking both the floor-banana and the one he’d bitten from his hands and looking them over.

She turned them over in her hands, pulling the peels down a little further. The flesh was white, no brown spots. The peels were a normal sunshine-yellow, a little bit of a green flush, and the fruit was firm. They were a little under-ripe, but there was nothing wrong with them as far as she could see.

“Why do ya think the bananas have gone bad, Verge?”

“They don’t taste right,” he said, frowning, “They’re-”

He narrowed his eyes, glaring into the distance.

“Gritty, I guess? Like under-cooked porridge,”

May frowned, breaking off a bit of the flesh and bringing toward her mouth.

“Hey-”

“Relax,” she snapped, “I ain’t gonna swallow it, don’t get yer knickers in a twist,”

As she suspected, the only thing she tasted was a perfectly normal banana.

“There’s nothin’ wrong with this, Verge,”

His frown deepened.

“I have more sensitive taste than you. You probably just don’t notice it, you should throw them away,”

May pinched the bridge of her nose.

“Um, actually, dear,”

Virgil’s whole face relaxed at once, turning toward Logan with just about the most attentive expression May had ever seen on an adolescent boy, because the boys were all twitterpated like that, the goofballs.

May turned too, and Logan was wearing his “sharing-fun-facts” face, one finger held up and looking down at his phone. May felt the corners of her mouth twitch up automatically.

“The bananas are most likely not bad,” said Logan, “As it happens, we are eating a different species of banana than the one which you would be familiar with. Bananas are grown as a monoculture, and as such, they are incredibly susceptible to diseases,”

“Monoculture?” prompted Patton.

Logan smiled, and Virgil moved to sit at the table again.

“Monoculture is a farming technique,” said Logan earnestly, and then he was off, the other three watching him with rapt attention. May tried to be annoyed that Roman had never paid even half as much attention to his lessons from her, and found that she couldn’t muster up anything but tenderness for the whole scene.

May reached across the counter for another banana, grabbing an apple and one of the copper knives as well. She sat at the table and pushed the apple and knife in Virgil’s direction, breaking her banana into pieces over her own oatmeal and settling in to learn more about banana farming than she ever wanted to know.

May hadn’t been homeschooling Roman for years, but some tendencies you never quite unlearn – Logan always did give her great openings.

“So,” she dropped into a pause, “What do you boys think are some sustainable alternatives for monocultures?”

“You’re asking a Winter about _gardening_?” said Virgil incredulously.

“Bold of you to assume farming ain’t political, Mr. Lord of the Forest,”

“Who the _hell_ taught Mamaw memes?” demanded Roman.

“Eyes in the walls, Roman, I’ve told ya again and again-”

But Logan and Patton were delighted by the farming question, and their enthusiasm dragged Roman and Virgil right back into it. May smiled into her oatmeal, and made a note in her head to make sure she had more fruit on hand than just bananas, for Virgil’s sake.

 _Picky little shit,_ she thought fondly, and smiled even wider when Virgil carefully sliced his apple into his own bowl.

**Author's Note:**

> you can also find me over on tumblr, @tulipscomeinallsortsofcolors!


End file.
